Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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