so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
