you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
