Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
