Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
