I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have fence marks all over my body
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
