I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
