i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
