This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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