office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
