I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I AM VODKA MAN
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
