Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
