I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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