I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
