ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
