google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
