he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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