You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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