I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
