I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
