dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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