Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
