They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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