I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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