i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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