my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
