I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
