I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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