Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
