Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
