I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
