God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
