i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
