Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
