I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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