Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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