Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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