Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just tell him i said nine months
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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