A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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