You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
