i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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