You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
