im having a threesome with these popsicles
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She's the barista slut.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
