I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
