I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
