about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
