Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
