She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
