I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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