I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
