Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Girls should come with a carfax report
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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