1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
id be glad to
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
